When Fairy Godmother belted out this tune in Shrek Two, she hit a chord with single women everywhere. Where have all the good men gone?

We’ve come a long way from Father Knows Best; a long way in the wrong direction. Why aren’t normal men yearning to be good men? Good men devote their lives to serving their families as dependable, loving husbands and caring fathers. Where have they gone?

Historically, American men were family men. The generation of men that risked their lives in World War II, returned home eager to devote themselves to family life. That generation knew the meaning of discipline and sacrifice. Where have all the good men gone? Who is going to replace them?

While it is true we have lost a small portion of eligible single men to the homosexual movement, such attrition represents a drop in the bucket (4 percent of the male population). The gay movement is merely a distraction. Good men don’t hunker for other men. Good men want good women; wives and families who will influence the next generation.

Where have all the good men gone? We single women want to know, so we speculate and delve deeper. And the answer horrifies us. Divorce. Divorce continues to rip through our communities, destroying homes and churches like a plague, and leaving death, destruction and heartbreak in its wake. Shamefully, Christians are leading the movement, and splitting up their families at a record pace.

From the husband’s point of view, divorce is devastating. He often loses not only his wife, but his children, his church, his community, and his reputation. No wonder there is so much anger. Men lose big with divorce: perhaps even more than their wives. This is a reality most women would rather ignore.

So the divorce is over. It’s time to pick up the pieces. The woman will remarry quickly, but will the man? He is now on the hook alimony and child support for decades to come. How can he afford to start over? Perhaps he’s not able to trust again. Is that so surprising? He has lost everything. Often, he will try to anesthetize the pain with long hours of overwork, often leading to a premature death.

Or perhaps he will turn to a life of one night stands. Affairs may temporarily relieve the loneliness, but will they do anything to rebuild the soul. He may fall prey to the dark night of addictions, which ultimately will destroy him. Pornography, alcohol, drugs, food, serial relationships…nothing fills the need for the wife and family he has left behind. Is there any help for his aching heart? Does anyone hear his cries? Can his moral compass be regained?

Since all of life’s questions are ultimately spiritual, the answer must be found in the spiritual realm. God understands our frame. He knows our weakness. God alone offers the healing and forgiveness it takes to start over. But the answer also lies with the man. Godly sorrow may lead to a change in behavior, and to a spiritual rebirth, but is it a permanent change? Is he willing to put forth the sacrifice and sheer determination it takes to build a new life?

Should he choose to remarry, the man will need to bring greater maturity to the next relationship. Good men are faithful. Good men love their wives with every fiber of their being, and good men make good husbands, good fathers and godly leaders. It is a heavy calling, and a mighty responsibility.

When he looks around to find the next wife, what will he encounter? As he asks hard questions about the next relationship, what will he find? Undoubtedly he will be wondering: Where have all the good women gone?
And he will find that they have gone, alright. In fact, like millions of men who have come to their senses, all he will hear is the echo of high heels in the hallway. For there is an exodus of good women, too: an exodus which continues to devastate the very homes, communities, and men who so greatly need their presence.